Putting up a Tent

-Lex & Bob go out camping, they try to put up a tent-
Lex: Bob is there a manual for this thing?
Bob: what thing?
Lex: the tent.
Bob: why?
Lex: we need to put it up to sleep tonight! what stupid question is that?!
Bob: oh -puts hand in pants and plays with self a bit- there i put up a tent 
Lex: you did? where?
Bob: -points at his boner- right here -laughs-
Lex: -sighs- I'm the idiot for camping with your stupid ass.

a Doat

Bob: i want a doat!
Lex: a what? o.o
Bob: a doat!
Lex: a what? p.p
Bob: i said i want a doat!
Lex: i heard what you said, what the hell is a doat?
Bob: its a cat dog >.>
Lex: -.-'  your a brat
Bob: oooh i know what that is... its a bird rat! like a bat!
Lex: shut up!

Dusting the Table

-Bob rushes in lexs place running to the table at the living room and stands there looking at it- O.O

Bob as he catches his breath: lex, where is the dust that was on the table?

Lex: i just cleaned the table why the hell are you asking about the dust? -.-

Bob: i got a phone call yesterday and i had to write down a very important number i wrote it on the table with my finger.

Lex: -sigh- your truly an idiot....

Making Gold

Lex told me if i can pass enough electricity in shit i could make it turn into gold.
so i pulled 2 wires and stuck them into my shit and turned on the switch only to find out that if you do that shit will fly all over the place and i got covered with it.

oh well... at least i made shit fly.

Bob.

Bank Robbery

-the cops rush in the bank and find Bob sitting there alone-
officer: did you rob the bank?
Bob: yes me and Lex we did it together
Officer: and where is Lex?
Bob: he ran away with the money
Officer: why didn't you run away with him?
Bob: he told me hell take all the money and i can keep the whole bank for myself

3am phone call

It was a dark cold night,,, ok it was hot really. Lex was sleeping in his apartment and all of a sudden his phone rings and wakes him up...

*Ring Ring*

 -Lex wakes up rubbing his eyes-

Lex: who is calling at this time... its fucken 3am in the morning.. -picks up the phone- hello

Bob: hey lex its me bob.

Lex: oh afcorse who else would it be, why are you calling at this late time -.-

Bob: i need help

Lex: help?

Bob: yah, my dick is being a dick and giving me a hard time.

Lex: oh boy, -lex says jokingly- well tell your dick to be a man. 

Bob -screaming from the top of his lungs-: BE A MAN YOU DICKHEAD!

Lex:oh boy. -hangs up the phone- what an idiot -.-

Dont Hit The Kangaroo

 -driving at a blistering speed Bob glances a kangaroo from a distance- 

Bob: Lex, there's a kangaroo crossing the road.

Lex: i see it Bob.

-the car gets closer to the kangaroo without slowing down-

Bob: Lex, theres a kangarooo! 

Lex: O.O I KNOW! I SEE IT!

-they hit it and the car is smashed and they get out of the car looking at each other-

Lex: why the hell didnt you slow down when you saw the kangaroo? YOU DUMB ASS!

Bob: oh?? i thought you were driving! o.o

Heart Surgery

Girl: im having heart surgery tomorrow

Boy: i know

Girl: i love you <3 :(

Boy: i love you too <3 :(

---------- next day after the surgery -----------

-girl wakes up with only her father next to her-

Girl: where is he?

Father: you dont know who gave you the heart? :(

-girl starts to cry-

Father: im just kidding he went to the toilet :p lol