Bob Believes he can Fly

Bob: I believe I can fly
Lex: You do?
Bob: Yes! The other day I attempted to fly, I stood up on the stairs and farted as hard as I can and jumped, but the small momentum of the fart did not give me enough push to carry my heavy body. 
Lex: -face palm-
Bob: So I believe if I can get enough momentum I can definitely fly. 

Ancient artifacts

Bob: -brakes an ancient artifact in the museum-
Museum manager: -comes running to him and yelling- "you broke a very important artifact from160 BC,,, what have you done?!"
Bob: oh thank god, you made me worry, i thought it was new!
Lex: -dies- x.x 

Surpries!

Lex: hey bob congrats you got a new brother.

Bob: oh really? don't tell mom lets keep it a surprise for her 8D
Lex: what? -.- you idiot.

Bob is puzzled and confused

-Bob is sitting quietly deeply in thought-
Lex: hey Bob, what are you thinking about you look like a plane crashed on your mothers face.
Bob: well i cant figure this out, why does my sister have 2 brothers and i only have one? i have been trying to figure this out since last night.
Lex: OهO -sigh- im sorry i asked -.-

Toys"R"Us

Bob: hey lex should I get the red one or the black one?

Lex: the black one

Bob: no I like red ill take the red one.

Lex: why did you even ask? -.-

-at the cashier-

-Bob pulls out monopoly money-

Bob: here you go $24.99

Cashier: this is not real money

Bob: its not like your selling me a real car

Lex: oh my god, im really sorry -grabbing bobs hand and leaving the store-

Bob: but but..the car?

Lex: leave the car were going home

stop asking!

Bob: hey Lex you got a pen?
Lex: no
-after a while-
Bob: Lex.
Lex: yes?
Bob: you got a pen?
Lex: no, i told you i don't have a pen.
-after a while-
Bob: Lex, do you have a pen?
Lex: no i don't, if you ask again im gona tie you up and hang you on the door.
Bob: >.>
-after a while-
Bob: Lex, you have a rope?
Lex: no i don't have a rope, what the hell do you want with a rope?
Bob: oh ok, do you have a pen then?
Lex: gaaah! NO!

Multitasking

Bob: hey lex, what you doing?
Lex: texting and listening to music and talking to you.
Bob: wow multitasking
Lex: ummm yah i guess, im good at it :p
Bob: im not
Lex: i was bad at it till i started texting.
Bob: really? what are you texting, tell me so i can text the same and be good at it 8D
Lex: whaa? :o
Bob: i said i want to be good like you so i have to text exactly what you text... TELL MEE!
Lex: NOO -runs away with his phone-