Fly Breath

I wanted to take a deep breath, you know one of those meditation, relaxation breathes where you breath slowly from your mouth and nose, only I was not sure if I should inhale from my moth and exhale from my nose or the other way around. I only realized it was the other way around after I inhaled a fly. ~ Lex Luxa.

Bob is holding it in.

Lex: Hey Bob what are you up to?

Bob: Nothing just sitting here holding my shit, because I don't want to go to the toilet. 

Lex: What? Why not?

Bob: I don't feel like it. 

Lex: okaaay!! p.p

Bob: Oh what the hell, I give up. Shit wins I am going to the toilet.
-Bob leaves to the toilet-

Lex answers, Why are farts funny?

Lex: I came up with an Idea.
It goes like this, I will get in the elevator with my boss and a bunch of people and wait till my boss clicks on the 10th floor, then I will click on the 5th floor and when the door opens for me to leave I will release a silent fart in the elevator and leave my boss to rot till the 10th floor.

Bob: haha why are farts funny?

Lex: I think that might have to do with the fact that they are generated by clapping the asshole without using the muscles and simply depending on the high air pressure released from the ass hole.

Bob Believes he can Fly

Bob: I believe I can fly
Lex: You do?
Bob: Yes! The other day I attempted to fly, I stood up on the stairs and farted as hard as I can and jumped, but the small momentum of the fart did not give me enough push to carry my heavy body. 
Lex: -face palm-
Bob: So I believe if I can get enough momentum I can definitely fly. 

Ancient artifacts

Bob: -brakes an ancient artifact in the museum-
Museum manager: -comes running to him and yelling- "you broke a very important artifact from160 BC,,, what have you done?!"
Bob: oh thank god, you made me worry, i thought it was new!
Lex: -dies- x.x 

Surpries!

Lex: hey bob congrats you got a new brother.

Bob: oh really? don't tell mom lets keep it a surprise for her 8D
Lex: what? -.- you idiot.

Bob is puzzled and confused

-Bob is sitting quietly deeply in thought-
Lex: hey Bob, what are you thinking about you look like a plane crashed on your mothers face.
Bob: well i cant figure this out, why does my sister have 2 brothers and i only have one? i have been trying to figure this out since last night.
Lex: OهO -sigh- im sorry i asked -.-